


so...what are ur opinions on daddy kinks... - a comprehensive evaluation

by thatmichaelgirl (SupernaturalMystery306)



Series: EXPERT COMMENTS [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low
Genre: M/M, This is pretty weird, atl and 5sos are the baes, daddy kink inquiries, im sorry this kinda sucks, jack is suprisingly helpful, like i said jack is a slut, luke needs advice, malum are dicks, merrikat is also mentioned, the insert comment thing, what even are these tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4019806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/thatmichaelgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>The one where Luke needs advice, malum are dicks and jack is deep and wise creature who fucks everyone.</b>
</p><p>Eh, okay...</p><p>---</p><p>Inspired by <span class="u">so...what are ur opinions on daddy kinks...</span> by lillylikeablade.</p><p>DISCLAIMER: I do not own this work. I sorta do. But, this is basically another author's work, and I have added my comments in between it. Kind of like those "Reading the this-that-book" fics.<br/>The original author approves of me doing this, so don't go running to them complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so...what are ur opinions on daddy kinks... - a comprehensive evaluation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kailogan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kailogan/gifts).



> I'M SO SORRY I FINALLY REALISED HOW TO GIFT IT TO YOU PROPERLY AND THEN I CAME ACROSS MY ANACONDA THING. TELL ME I DIDN'T RUIN MY OWN SURPRISE OR SOMETHING. NOOOOOOOO.
> 
> Well here you are with another comment-thing. XD
> 
> The title is once again fancy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE ONE I LOVE. XD

\-------

**Luke: can i talk to u about something..**

Just don't give him  _The Talk_ , yeah? (That doesn't even make sense....)

**Calum: of course**

You won't be so sure in a few minutes' time.

**Michael: what's going on?**

Curious!kitten. ^_^

**Luke: look michael**

**Luke: this is a sensitive topic**

**Luke: and if you are a dick about it i will never..**

**Luke: FORGIVE YOU**

Hey don't judge the unicorn. :/

**Michael: i am hurt you think so low of me**

He thinks so All Time Low of Mikey. *shakes head and sighs*

**Michael: when am i not sensitive**

**Calum: um michael...**

DON'T.

**Calum: when ARE you sensetive**

I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THAT CALUM STOP IT RIGHT NOW STOP BEING MEAN TO MY UNICORN BAD CALUM SHOO.

**Michael: shut up cal**

EXACTLY.

**Luke: guys**

**Luke: this is important**

**Calum: ok luke just tell us**

**Luke: ok**

**Luke: so...what are ur opinions on daddy kinks...**

It involves a lot of hair pulling and name calling and babying and daddying and eh, this is not my own opinion on it.

**Michael: OH GOD**

NO NO SAY "OH DAD." HOLY SHIT. OMFG. Michael is the name of an angel. Angels are God's kids. When Michael says "oh God", it means that he's saying "oh Dad." That's some screwed up shit I worked out. Forget I said anything. It is too extreme. And degrading.

**Michael: THAT IS AMAZING**

Michael are you trying to confess?

**Michael: i cant believe that ash has a daddy kink**

Who says we're talking about Ashton? Perhaps Luke likes to call Ashton "baby boy" and "good boy" and schtuff, while Ashton gets unbelievably hard over all that and starts whining to his 'daddy' to hurry the fuck up. Please don't make him so hard as to cut diamonds. Let that be the hardest substance. I won't let y'all do any harm to Ashy's dick.

**Calum: i can**

You're also confessing?

**Luke: fuck u**

**Michael: im sorry lukey but fuck**

**Calum: dude this is a special moment in our friendship**

A moment when they can all confess to getting hard ~~as diamonds~~ over Ashton's daddyness. Moment of silence please. Or maybe a moment of sex. Same thing. Not that sex is silence or vice versa. That would be weird. Like, you're just looking at some hot, quiet guy thinking that he's very studious and cute whereas in reality he's having sex with the air. Or something. *shudder shudder*

**Luke: fuck u all. i will ask alex and the guys you bunch of dicks**

The great bag of dicks. (References, references~~)

**Micheal: but luke we are your band**

YES.

**Michael: and what makes you think they will be any better**

YESYES.

**Calum: especially jack**

Oh the slut?

**Michael: i think hes ignoring us**

Duh.

**Calum: sinces jack will be busy with that wanna go do some stupid shit and make out**

Making out is not equal to stupid shit. And what does that have to do with Jack? Oh yeah, he'll be the one babysitting Lukey. I VOLUNTEER. I VOLUNTEER AS THE BABYSITTER.

**Michael: you always know what to say to me cally**

**Calum: ^_^**

But- bu- but that's _my favorite face!_

*********

**Group chat: Alex, Jack, Rian, Zack**

And group sex: ~~Sex~~ Alex, Jack ~~off~~ , Rian, Zack

**Luke: guys**

**Jack: lukey**

**Alex: hello**

**Rian: sup**

**Zack: hey**

All the hey's and hello's and sup's and lukey's remind me of how antisocial I am. *that emoji with tears running down the face*

**Luke: can i talk to you about something**

YESYESYES.

**Jack: sure and have you seen michael**

Nah.

...Oh sorry, I thought you were asking me.

**Alex: of course dude and shut up jack**

**Luke: Idgaf where michael is**

Ooooooooooohhhh.

**Luke: hes a dick**

He's = he is, also he's = he has.

**Jack: yeah but i was hoping he would suck mine**

Yeah okay cool, come over.

OH SHIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO ME. Hehe, sorry, got confused.

**Alex: JACK**

WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER WE HUNG OUT WE WERE INSEPARABLE.

**Alex: what the fuck**

**Rian: dude**

**Luke: this is important**

**Zack: alex you can punish jack later. Stop ignoring luke**

Hahahahahaha the coolness in the statement. #sassssyyyy.

**Luke: thanks zee**

**Zack: anytime bbe**

**Luke: :)**

**Jack: can you just get to the point pls**

**Jack: im bored..**

Asshole.

**Luke: ok so um yeah like um..what are your thoughts in daddy kinks..**

**Jack: oh**

**Alex: oh**

**Rian: oh**

Yeah oh.

**Zack: um...**

I KNOW WHY HE'S SAYING "UM..."

**Alex: didn't expect ashton to be that kinda guy**

**Rian: i did**

**Jack: zee can i tell him**

**Zack: NO**

HAHAHAHA HE ALREADY TOLD ALEX MAN.

**Jack: aw pls zacky**

**Alex: oh that thing**

So fucking nonchalantly.

**Zack: YOU TOLD ALEX**

Yeppers.

**Jack: of course alex is my bae**

Like, "why wouldn't I tell him? Why the fuckin' fuck not?" This actually happens with my friends too you know. They always tell my stuff to each other. :'( Not that I'm Zack the Daddy. Superhero name, _hella yeaay_.

**Alex: aw love you**

Love ya too, baby.

**Zack: WHAT THE HELL**

SO WHAT IF I HAVE SEX WITH A MILLION GUYS, YEA YEA YEA YEAHH, YOU NEVER CALL ME DA-DA-DADDY ANYWAY, YEAHH HAHAHAH (that creepy laugh of Lavigne)

**Rian: what are you guys on about**

**Luke: can we get back on topic**

It is the topic.

**Jack: so before me and alex were fucking me and zack used to fuck and he had a huge daddy kink haha**

That "haha" really shouldn't be that funny but there are tears falling down my face from laughing so much. (Bit of an overstatement XD)

**Luke: wow..**

**Zack: THE FUCK DUDE**

**Rian: i did not need to know that**

Trust me, you did. Secrets don't make friends. Or boyfriends.

**Jack: so yeah i know its seems weird but its pretty normal and you're not harming anyone. its kinda hot too**

"Not harming anyone" more like "pleasing the other person and yourself."

**Luke: okay thanks..**

**Luke: i did not expect you to be the one to give good advice**

Hhahahaah. Nobody does. At least, the 5sos guys don't.

**Alex: jack is a deep and wise creature**

I so wanna comment on the "deep" part. (Because I'm a true perv. XD)

**Alex: and if we r done here id love it if he came and fucked me**

One track mind.

**Rian: dude**

**Jack: awh but i wanted to fuck mikey**

EXCUSE YOU VERY MUCH STAY AWAY FROM ~~MY~~ CALUM'S BABY.

**Zack: im pretty sure i can hear him fucking calum**

EXACTLY. THANK YOU ZACK.

**Jack: oh okay then**

Yeah, okay then.

**Alex: yay love you**

Dude Alex he didn't even want to fuck you #whysodesperate?

**Luke: well thanks im gonna go have kinky sex with Ashton now**

Ooooooh  _kinkyyy._ XD Can't wait for the kink daddy!Ashton sex. Heh, another suggestion. Phone sex between Luke and Ash. XD

**Zack: bye bro**

I like Zack in this.

**Rian: why is everyone around me having sex**

Because they're incubi... I hope they're not incubuses. (Sounds like octopuses. )Why don't you also have sex with someone?

**Rian: these bands are too gay**

YOU'RE IN ONE OF THESE BANDS TOO RIAN.

**Rian: yet again i am left with you**

And Zack will say, "Wanna make good use of our time alone?" and Rian will be swept off his feet into Daddy Merrick's arms.

**Zack: hey**

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

YOU SHATTERED MY DREAMS ABOUT ZACKIAN. I don't know the ship name but I like to think that I'm creative so there you go............ Or is it Dawrick? Merrson?? TELL MEEEEEE.

**Rian: fuck off daddy**

HAHAHAHAAH HE SOUNDS LIKE A POUTY CHILD TELLIN' HIS REAL DAD TO FUCK OFF. Yes, I copied this from my comment.

**Zack: fuck you**

AT LEAST ZACK IS TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO ME, Y'KNOW? HE'S FINALLY SAYING THE STUFF I WANT HIM TO SAY TO RIAN. FUCK YOUUUUU. Just add an "I wanna" before that, and we'll be gold. *sweetest smile on the planet*

**Rian: i should get matt to get a banner that says daddy merrick on it**

Yes, and while you're at it, tattoo it on your forehead too, please. You'd look prettier then.

**Zack: your such a twat**

Don't say that, Zacky.

**Rian: you love me**

Rian is smart.

**Zack: i do**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Zackian is real.

*drops to the floor unconcious*

\----------

NICE PEOPLE THIS IS THE DADDY MERRICK ONE I USED TO TALK ABOUT. STELLAR, AIN'T IT?


End file.
